“Be still…”
I’ve had these words come into my head with no warning twice now.
The first time: I was really struggling with anger, frustration and impatience. I was sitting on the side of the road one day during a walk, praying and wrestling with the things inside of me. I was angry with God. I asked Him why He kept taking things away from me, opportunities, making me wait longer for things, and He said, ‘be still’. This was a day or two after I had seen someone’s Instagram post on what ‘be still’ really meant. It basically means, to be quiet.
So I shut my mouth and just listened. I changed my tune as I talked with God, and that changed my attitude and my outlook on things.
And just right before I started to write this. I found out a little while back that I wasn’t getting any financial aid for school, and I was supposed to start in the fall. I had worked really hard to get to this point of starting, and I was so excited to start this journey. But then I was also told that I might have to wait a year before starting.
I grew angry. I got frustrated. Why does God have to take everything that I’m excited about in my life and put it on hold?
With COVID, EVERYTHING had been put on hold. It’s as if God is telling us all to ‘be still’. An amazing amount of Bible’s have been sold since the start of Corona. I’ve seen people start stepping out with their faith and becoming bolder. I myself, have reconnected with God and worked on my relationship with Him because of quarantine.
With this new situation, I had a pretty rough day. I decided to grab a cup of tea and bring some of my work outside and just enjoy the sunsetting and the cool evening by myself. My thoughts turned to how I had acted earlier that day, pouring out my troubles to my friend in a rather long message (I think I weirded him out), and basically hiding myself away most of the day.
As I sat down to work on taking my mind off of my troubles, the phrase came to me again.
“Be still…”
And I realized that I was wanting everything to happen at once. I was wanting to go to school, get a job, juggle my blogging, my writing, family, friends, and my relationship with God at one time…
But if I have to wait another year to start school… could this be God’s way of telling me to be still and just use these free days of no school to focus on things that are more important? Or to learn how to slow down?
So, when you feel like things keep getting pushed off, or aren’t working, stop for a moment and ask yourself if there is a reason. Does God not want you hanging around that certain person? Does He want you to just slow down and breathe? Does He want you to start spending more time with Him than your friends?
“Be still, and know that I am God.”
~Jessie
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